We have Travel Approval from China!! We have a confirmed “gotcha” day of October 20th! We will be leaving for China October 15th and returning on the 29th which was wonderful news to Karlie since she was worried Lillee would not get to experience Halloween! :)
Please pray for safe travels and that everyone stays healthy. I am so nervous leaving Taylor behind, especially with this new respiratory virus going around. I have never left a child for this long and will miss Taylor, John and Katherine so very much.
And please pray for LIllee’s heart as she is about to experience more trauma in her little life. I remember a social worker telling us, during one of our adoption trainings, that on “gotcha day” the parents are hearing the Beach Boys playing in their head and the child is hearing the theme from Jaws. Sweet Lillee had never been outside until very recently and I don’t know how long she was out of the orphanage or if she has ever been outside again. Everything will be new, exciting and most likely very scary. I wonder if she has ever seen or heard a bird singing? What about a butterfly or flower? Has she felt rain? I know she has never traveled and they will be bringing her to me by train. She has never felt air conditioning and lives in a city that had temperatures in the 100s all summer with 100% humidity. I wonder if she has ever had a bath?? What foods has she tasted? I am pretty sure she has never had a caregiver with blonde hair and big eyes! What if she is scared of me, or Stephen, or all of us? I wonder what her voice sounds like? Can she say any words yet? I wonder if she will let me hug her or if she will pull away?
And then there is the orphanage visit on October 23rd. I am looking forward to meeting her nannies and thanking them for taking care of her but I won’t lie, I am scared to death! How will I ever be able to leave the other orphans? When I walk out of that orphanage gate, I can promise you it will be faith and God carrying me. Lillee is the first international adoption from her orphanage and I want to say and do all of the right things so that they will be encouraged to complete paperwork for the other children. When we received Lillee’s birthday party pictures, it actually took me a few days to really appreciate them and find joy in them. All I could see were tables full of beautiful children that needed their own Mamas and Babas. I saw beautiful dimples, smiles and love just waiting to be reciprocated. How will we walk away? What can we do? I am praying especially hard about the orphanage visit. I have prayed for so long for the Lord to “break my heart for what breaks His.” I have a feeling my heart will be absolutely crushed on the day we visit the orphanage.
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
Please pray for safe travels and that everyone stays healthy. I am so nervous leaving Taylor behind, especially with this new respiratory virus going around. I have never left a child for this long and will miss Taylor, John and Katherine so very much.
And please pray for LIllee’s heart as she is about to experience more trauma in her little life. I remember a social worker telling us, during one of our adoption trainings, that on “gotcha day” the parents are hearing the Beach Boys playing in their head and the child is hearing the theme from Jaws. Sweet Lillee had never been outside until very recently and I don’t know how long she was out of the orphanage or if she has ever been outside again. Everything will be new, exciting and most likely very scary. I wonder if she has ever seen or heard a bird singing? What about a butterfly or flower? Has she felt rain? I know she has never traveled and they will be bringing her to me by train. She has never felt air conditioning and lives in a city that had temperatures in the 100s all summer with 100% humidity. I wonder if she has ever had a bath?? What foods has she tasted? I am pretty sure she has never had a caregiver with blonde hair and big eyes! What if she is scared of me, or Stephen, or all of us? I wonder what her voice sounds like? Can she say any words yet? I wonder if she will let me hug her or if she will pull away?
And then there is the orphanage visit on October 23rd. I am looking forward to meeting her nannies and thanking them for taking care of her but I won’t lie, I am scared to death! How will I ever be able to leave the other orphans? When I walk out of that orphanage gate, I can promise you it will be faith and God carrying me. Lillee is the first international adoption from her orphanage and I want to say and do all of the right things so that they will be encouraged to complete paperwork for the other children. When we received Lillee’s birthday party pictures, it actually took me a few days to really appreciate them and find joy in them. All I could see were tables full of beautiful children that needed their own Mamas and Babas. I saw beautiful dimples, smiles and love just waiting to be reciprocated. How will we walk away? What can we do? I am praying especially hard about the orphanage visit. I have prayed for so long for the Lord to “break my heart for what breaks His.” I have a feeling my heart will be absolutely crushed on the day we visit the orphanage.
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
